Becoming A Stranger In A Strange Land

I have  been found among strange and lost myself within – Saint Izarya

           I remember the first I had become aware of my environment, I could not have been a bit older than twelve or thirteen. I remember it like it all happened yesterday, even now I can hear the heat from my father’s old chevy blazer  blasting to keep my eldest brother Troy, Me and my younger sister Morgan warm. Chicago winter morning has always been brutal but today was different from any other school day. Morgan and I had over heard a conversation  my father was having with Troy my eldest brother who had been a  freshman in high school at the time. He said ” Son its a shame your friend had been shot and killed, he was a very good young man. Me and Morgan froze and sat there breathlessly as Troy brokenly replied “yeah”.  I didn’t know it at the time but this would a conversation I would hear time and time again. Childhood and innocence began to become a fleeting  theme in  my day to day dealings. The next day I watched my father become the teacher we never knew existed at the time, he begin teaching us survival tactics and dealing with opposing forces. My father began to show his well refined police  tactics to children who couldn’t grasp the idea of hate, murder and fear. I as grew older and began to drive, my father would always say ” son if you get stop by the police, try not to give them a hard time, understand that their main goal is to make it back their families and they fear that one day they won’t, so please  do not give them a hard time”. Considering the burdens of my mother and what it may be like for her to share this fear, I stiffly responded ” ok dad”. Survive and make it back to the people who love you, this became one of many pillars in our home. 

                  We bred and raised to survive growing up in Chicago, we began to learn about gangs and what neighbors they were in and what colors not to wear. We were taught to alway walk different routes home from school, and never walk while wearing headphones. We were force to trade our peace of mind for readiness in the name of survival. We had become as young wolves in the dead of winter always  becoming the stronger and clinging on to every breath we bare. In many parts of the world the dogma is taught, and has become a form of urban code on lost page of on the theory of Natural Selection. In my years of living violence has become a natural order of the earth and every ecosystem, mankind has been reduced to the beastly natural of wild animals, the strong will eat the weak.

                      My personal experience growing up in Chicago is no different of those who have grown up in Egypt, East London or Yemen. Survival is face  we have all looked into and saw our own eyes much too clearly. Whether you withstand the stay bullet, or struggle to pay rent, humanity has always been in  state of survival. While traveling the world by the grace of the most high I was able to live in Israel and Turkey for a few seasons, I was not fearful of the police or any terrorist, any hate or dirty looks. Non of these were foreign to me Chicago had taught me to become harder than iron. In the mist of the tornado  I would alway find peace right in the eye of  chaos, It was my environment I felt safest in. In fact I knew how transform into the chaotic wind or even become grounded while being tossed by the winds like a rag doll. Once we have been forge by the chaos, whether becoming the destroying winds  or the rag doll tossed by them only then would we be granted the gift of survival.

                Accept where you are is my advice, understand that your life has a purpose, understand your book of life has been  open, written, and sealed before you had taken your first breath of life. Your heart is your primary tool, then your gut but we must watch nature and learn from her.  Look and listen understand where you are, understand the people, culture, religion, foods and laws. Learn the culture not as ravenous vultures but rather sit and watch from an olive branch like a tender dove clothe with humility. Being at peace with all man can only be found when one has found peace with in themselves. Become confident in your faith in The most high, be confident in love and kindness understand that just as love and pleasures are faucets in this realm so are shame and loneliness . Understand and accept whether you are the destroying winds or the rag doll being tossed by it, only then and individual will truly have a lively and intriguing human experience.

I have seen the world and the world has seen me. The experience of the humans is mainly surround self expression, what we eat, what we wear, how we express ourselves on Social media etc. The gift of being born in this world is being able to enjoy the pleasure within it. Consider the lilies and how they dance with beams of the sun or the fowls of the air, with their little strength they able to seek out the secrets of the earth and heaven. Freedoms and liberty are guides we respect in this realm and they are to be sought after, but it is the wise man’s duty to seek out a stable foundation to become bounded to. 

       For a brief moment consider the myth of icarus who carelessly flew too close to the sun, disobeying his father’s instructions  and after his wings had burn we fell to the earth and was no more. Being boundless will eventually lead to one’s own demise. look at the seas  and how they dwell and the hearts of men and how they dwell. For in to the daylight they are in league with all that dwell in within the earth while baring power and passion to destroy. Behold in the night time and by the changing of the moon and the changing of seasons they are both given over to chaos while becoming more subtle than serpents.  Therefore we can conclude that  it is not the might of men nor the chaos of the sea that destroys worlds but the lack of being bounded therein. Whether mankind destroys himself or the seas swallow themselves whole, it is the most high who permits these things to happen. Will the Earth become rooted in rightousness or will we remain boundless always falling into death?

          Understand the things we have been given have been given to us by the most high, he permits us to appreciate the little we  have . Wherever you dwell in this realm of existence  seek out what has been given to you, understand this is who you serve righteousness or wickedness and they will be your guide and master even on to death. Shalom.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Saint Izarya-

The World Is Ending So Choose Life

If the most high will’s my faith in him will alway strengthen me, I have come to learn if we have faith in the most high he will have faith in us. My case isn’t special in any way, these things have always happened on the Earth. Daily I foster the question ‘does opening your heart always hurt?’. In a brave attempt I have  demanded to preserve my sanity and reveal my weakness to the plants and not man

A Man's Greatest Weakness

Brothers and Sisters we are all given gifts from the most high.Who are we not to see search and achieve our aspirations why not you, why  not me? The cup which the most high has handed us shall we not drink it? Are we not beloved of the most high?

Reexamining The Human Experience

Staring out the window of my disheveled yet sacred flat, I have often considered my place in this world “Human Experience” which is so frequently diminished, molded, and rebranded as life. It’s not uncommon to hear the phrase “I want a GOOD Life” or “life is HARD” in present day society. 

Harder Than Cement

In our beginning we were fashioned from the minerals of the Earth, we were tender-hearted to our brothers and rejoiced in our wives and children.   Being sufficient and able to bare strength and the matters of the World, who are we today? Or why have Black and Brown men been reduced to commodities of the world?